Remembered

Sometimes my biggest fear is

That I will never be remembered

I will go through life

Completely unnoticed

And pass to the other side

Entirely unmissed

Sometimes my truest truth is

That I am not worth anyone’s love

I cannot make it right

No matter what I do

Because it is not in me to do it

They don’t respond to me that way

And no one really cares anyway

Who am I to be cared about?

What have I done to deserve anyone’s attention?

I reach for the sky

Like branches shoot forth from the beam

Look at me! Look at me!

No one turns around

No one hears.

What do I lack? That I cannot

Attract?

It lasts but a fleeting moment

And then it is gone

And I’m left searching again

Can you wear your broken heart

On your sleeve?

Is it a medal, or a talisman?

A scar, a wound, a badge of pride?

A deficit that won’t be overcome?

Is it a lesson driven deep

Beneath your skin

And sweated out every time you rush forward

Your heart speeds up

In anticipation

And falls down in

Disappointment

The break was not mended

The happiness awoke

For but a moment

And then went back to dreaming

While the heartbreak carried on

Awake, alive and well.

You did this

You ruined every good thing

You ever had

And now you ruin the next thing

And the next

And still reach for the stars

Though they wink away

As they fall to earth

The dreams unmade

And the hopes unrealized

“this is not for you” they say

You don’t get to come up here

You can only watch and wonder

Why

It was never your turn

Why

You struck the atmosphere

And fell back down

Why

You can feel the sharp cold air

As you rise

But cannot wrap yourself in the warmth

As you fall

Why don’t you get to be one of them?

The lucky ones

The loved ones

Those remembered?

Copyright © 2016 by dbpoetry
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